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Three Legged Man

Friends You never guess it
So I might as well confess it
I just met the sweetest woman
Of my long and dismal life
But a  friend of mine said, "Buddy"
Don't you know you mind is muddy
Don't you know that child you're messing with
Is Peg Leg Johnson's wife
That Man is Mean and Ugly And Big and Grim
And he's going to kick you ass with his artificial limb

And I'm a three legged man with a two legged woman
Being chased around the country by a one legged fool
He' a hopping and flopping, and he shows no sign of stopping
And I tell you Boys, this life is awful cruel

Well next morning, bright and early
I ran off with Peg Legs Girlie
And just to play it safe
I took his wooden leg
But there was no time for laughter
Cause he started hoppin' after
He's hopping and a floppin'
But he won't give up the chase
And I'm running all round Devon with his bride
And I've got his Goddam Leg here by my side
 

And I'm a three legged man with a two legged woman
Being chased around the country by a one legged fool
He' a hopping and flopping, and he shows no sign of stopping
And I tell you Boys, this life is awful cruel

From the Mountains to the Valleys
In and out of Torquay's alleys
From Plymouth's meanest landlords
To the hills of Exmoor's bind
In and out of Newton Abbott,
Like a whippet after rabbits
Everytime I look behind
Well, he's just a foot behind
And I know he's feeling tired and wet and sick
Cause, I spite of all his troubles, he can't kick

And I'm a three legged man with a two legged woman
Being chased around the country by a one legged fool
He' a hopping and flopping, and he shows no sign of stopping
And I tell you Boys, this life is awful cruel

Well he must be feeling tired and filthy
And I've been feeling kind of guilty
Ever since that day last week
When I heard him plead and beg
He said, Ter, in spite of all your stealing
I don't bear you any hard feeling
I know Margie doesn't love me
But Give me back my leg

Cause although the leg you meant to steal was wooden
In the dark there, by mistake, you took the good 'un

Well he must be feeling tired and filthy
And I've been feeling kind of guilty
Ever since that day last week
When I heard him plead and beg
He said, Ter, in spite of all your stealing
I don't bear you any hard feeling
I know Margie doesn't love me
But Give me back my leg

And I'm a three legged man with a two legged woman
Being chased around the country by a one legged fool
He' a hopping and flopping, and he shows no sign of stopping
And I tell you Boys, this life is awful cruel


 Deep Throat

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